Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Polar Opposites in Holiday Shopping

The age-old conflict between Early Birds and Waiters



 



If statistics are correct, one in four of you reading this in early November will already have finished your holiday shopping. You’ll calmly sail into the gingerbreaded depths of the fourth quarter with nary a care because you’re a planner. An early bird.
 

Know this, rare bird: You’re also super annoying to those of us who delay until crunch time. So even if someone asks, you should keep your holiday taskmastery to yourself. You’ll be no fun at parties with that kind of banter.

Who are the other 75 percent, you ask? Most of us navigate the last three months of the year like donkeys on the edge, weaving and heaving frantically about the labyrinth of the holiday hubbub because of what we are: the Waiters.

The Waiters know there’s a deadline looming and a sale on something, somewhere, but we wait because we like to enjoy our holidays one at a time, in chronological order: Labor Day before Halloween; Halloween before Thanksgiving; Thanksgiving before Hanukkah and Christmas.

Call me a purist, but I, for one, can’t be held responsible for any purchasing decisions I might make during the off-season. It’s unnatural to weigh the merits of one sweater over the other in September, when it’s 96° outside and my main concern is my sweat mustache. I must wait.

October, a month that used to devote itself exclusively to Halloween, has officially sold out to Big Retail and disrupted the natural order of things. Last month, during the first week of October – a time that used to mark the entrance of Halloween decorations and costume contests – I was lured into at least a dozen “Pre-Pre-Black Friday” sales online. It was unsettling. Are the retail gods conspiring to turn the Waiters into Early Birds? They’d have better luck turning me into a morning person.

Many retail analysts suggest that the shopper who waits until Black Friday to start holiday shopping will be months behind. Can you imagine what this theory would look like when applied to other holidays? I picture the home shopping channel host, in her most sincere tone, as she explains, “Really, Dan, I encourage all our home shoppers to get those Easter baskets filled before Back-to-School time so they can just relax and enjoy the season with family and friends, without all the rushing around. There’s nothing more disappointing than waiting until the last minute and finding out that the Easter grass selection has been picked over.”

By November, the shopping soul of the Waiter, troubled though it be, begins to stir. The retail universe shrieks, “You MUST buy this now! It’s our lowest price of the season!” The Early Birds chirp in their chirpiest voices, “Well, even though everything is purchased, I don’t start wrapping until November 1.” But it’s still only November and everything about the Waiter says, “Wait!”

Wait! Those might go on sale the week before Christmas.
Wait! Wasn’t that the same TV you saw at Best Buy for $50 less? You should hang on until you know for sure.

Wait! Didn’t you end up with an extra set of those last year? Hold off until you find them.

Wait! As long as you’re here, you should smell every candle until the store closes.

The mere urgency of Black Friday wreaks havoc on the shaky nerves of the Early Birds. That’s why they prefer to pre-empt Black Friday in the first place. The Waiter, on the other hand, is unfazed by the panting desperation of Black Friday; his stress comes from knowing that nothing must stand between him and a holiday deadline … especially the Early Birds. Year after year, they get it all done before Labor Day, yet Early Birds insist on flitting hither and yon, occupying parking spaces at every retail outlet in the five-county metro from Nov. 15 until late December.

Dear Early Birds, stay off the roads and out of the way of Waiters on a mission. Make the most of the few remaining weeks of the year to whip up some cookies, watch old movies, take a long winter’s nap – whatever it takes to bide your time until Dec. 26, when your holiday shopping season begins anew. In other words, Early Birds, just wait.

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags

Archive »You Might Like

What's Up in the 405

Our top 6 picks for fun stuff to do in and around OKC

A Virtual Door to OKC’s Past

New reality app allows history hunters to step back in time

Adventure Road’s Great Road Trip Giveaway

The Great Road Trip Giveaway offers a chance for one lucky winner to drive off in the car of their dreams

Add your comment:
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Calendar

June 2018

The Salvation Army, in conjunction with Westlake Ace Hardware, is sponsoring a fan drive to benefit needy families in the Oklahoma City area. A kickoff event is planned for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Westlake Ace Hardware
11801 S. Western
Oklahoma City, OK  73170
View map »


Sponsor: Salvation Army
Telephone: 913.485.5656
Contact Name: Elaine Symanski
Website »

More information

Commemorating the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and diverse collection of art created by or about...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405.236.3100
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options, visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918.495.6000
Website »

More information

The Salvation Army, in conjunction with Westlake Ace Hardware, is sponsoring a fan drive to benefit needy families in the Oklahoma City area. A kickoff event is planned for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Westlake Ace Hardware
11801 S. Western
Oklahoma City, OK  73170
View map »


Sponsor: Salvation Army
Telephone: 913.485.5656
Contact Name: Elaine Symanski
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options, visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918.495.6000
Website »

More information

The Salvation Army, in conjunction with Westlake Ace Hardware, is sponsoring a fan drive to benefit needy families in the Oklahoma City area. A kickoff event is planned for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Westlake Ace Hardware
11801 S. Western
Oklahoma City, OK  73170
View map »


Sponsor: Salvation Army
Telephone: 913.485.5656
Contact Name: Elaine Symanski
Website »

More information

Commemorating the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and diverse collection of art created by or about...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405.236.3100
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options, visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918.495.6000
Website »

More information

The Salvation Army, in conjunction with Westlake Ace Hardware, is sponsoring a fan drive to benefit needy families in the Oklahoma City area. A kickoff event is planned for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Westlake Ace Hardware
11801 S. Western
Oklahoma City, OK  73170
View map »


Sponsor: Salvation Army
Telephone: 913.485.5656
Contact Name: Elaine Symanski
Website »

More information

Commemorating the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and diverse collection of art created by or about...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405.236.3100
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

Join us every Thursday this summer for morning yoga practice while enjoying the beautiful sunrise over Will Rogers Gardens. This class is designed for all skill levels, so grab your...

Cost: $5 per class

Where:
Will Rogers Gardens
3400 NW 36th St
Oklahoma City, OK  73112
View map »


Sponsor: OKC Parks and Recreation
Telephone: 405.297.2279
Contact Name: Becca Leon
Website »

More information

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options, visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918.495.6000
Website »

More information

The Salvation Army, in conjunction with Westlake Ace Hardware, is sponsoring a fan drive to benefit needy families in the Oklahoma City area. A kickoff event is planned for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Westlake Ace Hardware
11801 S. Western
Oklahoma City, OK  73170
View map »


Sponsor: Salvation Army
Telephone: 913.485.5656
Contact Name: Elaine Symanski
Website »

More information

Join us for an evening of painting and patronage to benefit ABLE Community-Based Services. Light snacks will be provided, and alcoholic beverages will be available for purchase. Reserve your...

Cost: $35

Where:
Pinot's Palette
228 E. Main St.
Norman, OK  73069
View map »


Contact Name: Niki Leonard
Website »

More information

Commemorating the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and diverse collection of art created by or about...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405.236.3100
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options, visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918.495.6000
Website »

More information

The Salvation Army, in conjunction with Westlake Ace Hardware, is sponsoring a fan drive to benefit needy families in the Oklahoma City area. A kickoff event is planned for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Westlake Ace Hardware
11801 S. Western
Oklahoma City, OK  73170
View map »


Sponsor: Salvation Army
Telephone: 913.485.5656
Contact Name: Elaine Symanski
Website »

More information

Escape the ordinary, and learn about OKC from a different point of view. Relax in the climate controlled cabin on one of our 65’ cruisers, or enjoy the breeze on the viewing deck and listen...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

More information

The evening Cocktail Cruise offers stunning views of the downtown skyline, the Boathouse District and Finish Line Tower, the Wheeler Ferris wheel and quite possibly an amazing Oklahoma sunset. Come...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

More information

Commemorating the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and diverse collection of art created by or about...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405.236.3100
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

The Salvation Army, in conjunction with Westlake Ace Hardware, is sponsoring a fan drive to benefit needy families in the Oklahoma City area. A kickoff event is planned for 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Westlake Ace Hardware
11801 S. Western
Oklahoma City, OK  73170
View map »


Sponsor: Salvation Army
Telephone: 913.485.5656
Contact Name: Elaine Symanski
Website »

More information

Escape the ordinary, and learn about OKC from a different point of view. Relax in the climate controlled cabin on one of our 65’ cruisers, or enjoy the breeze on the viewing deck and listen...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

More information

The evening Cocktail Cruise offers stunning views of the downtown skyline, the Boathouse District and Finish Line Tower, the Wheeler Ferris wheel and quite possibly an amazing Oklahoma sunset. Come...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

More information

After Sash is the official after party for YWCA OKC's Purple Sash Gala! Guests will enjoy wine, a cash bar, photo booth, snacks by Whiskey Cake and live music by Drive.  All...

Cost: $30

Where:
The Criterion
500 E Sheridan Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73104
View map »


Sponsor: YWCA Oklahoma City
Telephone: 405.948.1770
Contact Name: Sami Grega
Website »

More information

Commemorating the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and diverse collection of art created by or about...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405.236.3100
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module Edit ModuleShow Tags