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Words of Gradu-Wisdom

Advice to heed if you remember nothing else



 



SOMEONE YOU KNOW is about to flip a tassel this month, and you’ll probably be scanning the card section for the right message to give the graduate. Save yourself some shopping time: The message the graduate (or anyone, come to think of it) wants to receive is simply, “Here’s some money.”
 

Commencement speakers also could take a tip from this jar. Year after year, everyone at any graduation across the country knows what the keynote speakers are going to say. They’ll 
open with a friendly, perhaps humorous, story or quote before touching on a personal account of how they, as life’s uninitiated, imagined their future would be. Then they’ll close with some kind of advice about following your dream.

For a million dollars, I couldn’t tell you who delivered the commencement speech at my high school graduation, what his educational credentials were or the subject of his speech.
 I do, however, vividly remember the urgency in his delivery of this advice: “If you remember nothing else I say to you tonight, remember this.”

That’s it. I was so mesmerized by the all-or-nothingness of his “remember this” message that I don’t remember anything that came before or after that line, which very well could have been the secret to happiness and fulfillment, the shortcut to success or the combination to his safe deposit box. I’ll never know.

Instead, I stumbled blindly into my postgraduate life – unarmed for the tribulations of young adulthood – blazing a trail less traveled, all because I missed the big road sign of life that old what’s-his-name, the keynote speaker, cautioned us to remember.

It’s probably too late for me. The rest of you should save yourselves: Worry less about following your dreams and more about the practical advice you’ll probably never hear at your graduation, but need to hear before you go.

Travel. Doesn’t matter where – just go as far and as often as you can.

Get the longest extended warranty available. You’ll need it, exponentially so, for items that have a lot of features. That means more to break.

Don’t tell people everything you know. Keep a little mystery.

Don’t buy crappy tires or you’ll be buying tires all the time. Get the best tires available (with the best replacement warranty) or you’ll spend more money replacing crappy tires than you would have spent on good ones to begin with. This is a hard and fast rule that applies to everything from boots to lipstick, too: get the good one first and be done with it.

Keep your face out of the sun or you’ll never be able to lie about your age.

Perennials to annuals: Work with a ratio of 3:1.

Take a lot of photos between now and age 27. Your metabolism has a maximum shelf life of 28 years. Enjoy it now. You’ll look like the rest of us soon enough.

Always know someone with 1) a pool; 2) a pickup truck; 3) a prescription pad.

Leggings aren’t pants. Tunics aren’t dresses. Stop trying to defeat this axiom of good judgment, for all of us.

Don’t stress about math. Math is hard for (almost) everyone and most people don’t care if you’re not good at it. On the other hand ...

You must learn to spell. You’re killing the souls of readers everywhere, especially when you leave your manifesto on every news story thread you find on the Internet. There’s still time to get a handle on this, so do it.

Make a bonnet for your DirectTV dish. If you insist on going this way, you should either live in an extremely arid climate (where you’ll be glad you’ve started that skincare regime) or you must protect the dish from the rain if you ever want to spend a rainy Sunday afternoon watching old movies.

Learn how to thread and use a sewing machine. You’ll need a good costume one day.

Check your oil or you’ll be sorry. And it will be after midnight, on a weekend, when it’s raining sideways.

Know at least one reliable person you can call to fetch you after midnight, on a weekend, when it’s raining sideways and you’ve burned up the engine of your oil-starved car.

Be kind in all instances. At the very least, strive to be kind in all instances. Nothing will enrich your life more. If you remember nothing else, remember that.

 

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Calendar

October 2019

Forms Through Language: an exhibition by San Francisco Artist Gyöngy Laky. On view September 12 – October 31. Free and open to the public. Join us for Laky's Artist Reception on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Artspace at Untitled
1 NE 3rd st
Oklahoma City, OK  73104
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Telephone: 405-815-9995
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Whether it’s a pair of deer in the woods of Oklahoma, or the delicate points of a snowflake in Wisconsin, Maud photographer Sarah Rodefeld is patient and steady as she aims her lens. ...

Cost: $4-$6

Where:
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1000 Chisholm Trail Parkway
Duncan, OK  73533
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Sponsor: Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
Telephone: 580.252.6692
Contact Name: Toni Hopper
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October 4-December 29, 2019 Misunderstood! features poems and artworks ranging from 1894 to 2017. As these works demonstrate, Native artists and writers have grappled with the same...

Cost: Free!

Where:
Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
Norman, OK  73019
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Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
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Join us for the seventh year of Wiggle Out Loud: OKC's Free Family Music Festival at the Myriad Gardens on Sunday, October 20th from 10:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. We have a fresh, diverse lineup of...

Cost: Free

Where:
Myriad Gardens
301 W Reno Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
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Sponsor: The Children's Hospital Volunteers
Contact Name: Molly Pattison
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Willkommen to four days of Oompah (or Bavaria or Oktoberfest) in Oklahoma with nationally known German bands, authentic European foods, arts and  crafters MarktHaus, full carnival, and...

Cost: $7 in advance, $10 at the gate and FREE for children 12 and under

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River West Festival Park
2100 S. Jackson Ave.
Tulsa, OK  74107
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Sponsor: Linde
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Professional instruction in the art of improvisation. Though some experience with improvisation is beneficial, all skill levels are welcome, no prerequisite classes.  Though sketch comedy...

Cost: $175 for the full term

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The Paramount Room
701 W. Sheridan Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
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Sponsor: The Space OKC
Telephone: 405-887-3327
Contact Name: AL Caveny
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Cost: Free

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Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1 North Broadway Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
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Winner of four Tony Awards, including Best Musical Revival, HELLO, DOLLY! is the universally acclaimed smash that NPR calls “the best show of the...

Cost: Varies

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Civic Center Music Hall
201 N Walker Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
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Sponsor: OKC Broadway
Telephone: 405-594-8300
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October 4-December 29, 2019 Misunderstood! features poems and artworks ranging from 1894 to 2017. As these works demonstrate, Native artists and writers have grappled with the same...

Cost: Free!

Where:
Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
Norman, OK  73019
View map »


Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
Website »

More information

Forms Through Language: an exhibition by San Francisco Artist Gyöngy Laky. On view September 12 – October 31. Free and open to the public. Join us for Laky's Artist Reception on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Artspace at Untitled
1 NE 3rd st
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View map »


Telephone: 405-815-9995
Website »

More information

Whether it’s a pair of deer in the woods of Oklahoma, or the delicate points of a snowflake in Wisconsin, Maud photographer Sarah Rodefeld is patient and steady as she aims her lens. ...

Cost: $4-$6

Where:
Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
1000 Chisholm Trail Parkway
Duncan, OK  73533
View map »


Sponsor: Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
Telephone: 580.252.6692
Contact Name: Toni Hopper
Website »

More information

Professional instruction in the art of improvisation. Though some experience with improvisation is beneficial, all skill levels are welcome, no prerequisite classes.  Though sketch comedy...

Cost: $175 for the full term

Where:
The Paramount Room
701 W. Sheridan Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Sponsor: The Space OKC
Telephone: 405-887-3327
Contact Name: AL Caveny
Website »

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Come pre-party with us on the patio this Saturday at the Sheraton Hotel. Enjoy our signature cocktail drinks and food bar menu. DJ Catherine Ouellette will be spinning your favorite tunes...

Cost: Free

Where:
Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1 North Broadway Ave
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Father Michael Lapsley, a South African Anglican priest and noted anti-apartheid activist, will discuss ways that people can begin their journey of forgiveness and healing Oct. 21 at 7 p.m. at...

Cost: Free

Where:
Fairview Missionary Baptist Church
1700 NE 7th St.
Oklahoma City, OK  73117
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Sponsor: University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma
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October 4-December 29, 2019 Misunderstood! features poems and artworks ranging from 1894 to 2017. As these works demonstrate, Native artists and writers have grappled with the same...

Cost: Free!

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Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
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Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
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Forms Through Language: an exhibition by San Francisco Artist Gyöngy Laky. On view September 12 – October 31. Free and open to the public. Join us for Laky's Artist Reception on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Artspace at Untitled
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View map »


Telephone: 405-815-9995
Website »

More information

Whether it’s a pair of deer in the woods of Oklahoma, or the delicate points of a snowflake in Wisconsin, Maud photographer Sarah Rodefeld is patient and steady as she aims her lens. ...

Cost: $4-$6

Where:
Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
1000 Chisholm Trail Parkway
Duncan, OK  73533
View map »


Sponsor: Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
Telephone: 580.252.6692
Contact Name: Toni Hopper
Website »

More information

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Cost: Free

Where:
Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1 North Broadway Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »

More information

Professional instruction in the art of improvisation. Though some experience with improvisation is beneficial, all skill levels are welcome, no prerequisite classes.  Though sketch comedy...

Cost: $175 for the full term

Where:
The Paramount Room
701 W. Sheridan Ave
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Sponsor: The Space OKC
Telephone: 405-887-3327
Contact Name: AL Caveny
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Join us for an evening of choral works inspired by the celestial mystery of the moon and stars, and the beauty they reflect upon the Earth. The concert will offer a variety of musical responses to...

Cost: Free to the public. Donations accepted.

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2501 N. Blackwelder Ave.
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Sponsor: Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
Telephone: 580.252.6692
Contact Name: Toni Hopper
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Forms Through Language: an exhibition by San Francisco Artist Gyöngy Laky. On view September 12 – October 31. Free and open to the public. Join us for Laky's Artist Reception on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Artspace at Untitled
1 NE 3rd st
Oklahoma City, OK  73104
View map »


Telephone: 405-815-9995
Website »

More information

October 4-December 29, 2019 Misunderstood! features poems and artworks ranging from 1894 to 2017. As these works demonstrate, Native artists and writers have grappled with the same...

Cost: Free!

Where:
Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
Norman, OK  73019
View map »


Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
Website »

More information

Professional instruction in the art of improvisation. Though some experience with improvisation is beneficial, all skill levels are welcome, no prerequisite classes.  Though sketch comedy...

Cost: $175 for the full term

Where:
The Paramount Room
701 W. Sheridan Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Sponsor: The Space OKC
Telephone: 405-887-3327
Contact Name: AL Caveny
Website »

More information

Come pre-party with us on the patio this Saturday at the Sheraton Hotel. Enjoy our signature cocktail drinks and food bar menu. DJ Catherine Ouellette will be spinning your favorite tunes...

Cost: Free

Where:
Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1 North Broadway Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
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Whether it’s a pair of deer in the woods of Oklahoma, or the delicate points of a snowflake in Wisconsin, Maud photographer Sarah Rodefeld is patient and steady as she aims her lens. ...

Cost: $4-$6

Where:
Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
1000 Chisholm Trail Parkway
Duncan, OK  73533
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Sponsor: Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
Telephone: 580.252.6692
Contact Name: Toni Hopper
Website »

More information

Forms Through Language: an exhibition by San Francisco Artist Gyöngy Laky. On view September 12 – October 31. Free and open to the public. Join us for Laky's Artist Reception on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Artspace at Untitled
1 NE 3rd st
Oklahoma City, OK  73104
View map »


Telephone: 405-815-9995
Website »

More information

October 4-December 29, 2019 Misunderstood! features poems and artworks ranging from 1894 to 2017. As these works demonstrate, Native artists and writers have grappled with the same...

Cost: Free!

Where:
Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
Norman, OK  73019
View map »


Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
Website »

More information

"Size Queen: Harold Stevenson and the Politics of Looking" Lecture     October 24, 4 p.m. Mary Eddy Auditorium Free and open to the public Join us for a lecture by Dr....

Cost: Free!

Where:
Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
Norman, OK  74019
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Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
Website »

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40 Minutes or Less: Spooky Shorts In partnership with Oklahoma Film Society 6 p.m.  Free and open to the public.  Films: Peur Du Noir # 5 - Directed by Richard McGuire Reverse -...

Cost: Free

Where:
ARTSPACE at Untitled
1 NE 3rd St
Oklahoma City, OK  73104
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Sponsor: ARTSPACE at Untitled
Telephone: 405-815-9995
Website »

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Come pre-party with us on the patio this Saturday at the Sheraton Hotel. Enjoy our signature cocktail drinks and food bar menu. DJ Catherine Ouellette will be spinning your favorite tunes...

Cost: Free

Where:
Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1 North Broadway Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »

More information

Professional instruction in the art of improvisation. Though some experience with improvisation is beneficial, all skill levels are welcome, no prerequisite classes.  Though sketch comedy...

Cost: $175 for the full term

Where:
The Paramount Room
701 W. Sheridan Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Sponsor: The Space OKC
Telephone: 405-887-3327
Contact Name: AL Caveny
Website »

More information

OSU Symphony Orchestra presents Fierce & Feminine: A Celebration of Women Composers! Dr. Thomas Dickey, conductor Sarah King, assistant conductor Dr. Erin Murphy, flute, featured guest...

Cost: $12, 10, & 7

Where:
McKnight Center for the Performing Arts
705 W. University Ave.
Stillwater, OK  74074
View map »


Sponsor: Oklahoma State University Symphony Orchestra
Telephone: 618-304-2817
Contact Name: Dr. Thomas Dickey, Director of Orchestral Studies
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On Oct. 24 at 7:30 p.m. in the Davis Hall Little Theatre, PUSH Physical Theatre will bring Bram Stoker’s 1897 horror novel DRACULA to life in an original, multi-media performance that...

Cost: $10-15

Where:
Davis Hall Little Theatre
1727 W. Alabama Ave.
Chickasha, OK  73018
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Sponsor: USAO Theatre Arts Department
Telephone: 405-574-1310
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Whether it’s a pair of deer in the woods of Oklahoma, or the delicate points of a snowflake in Wisconsin, Maud photographer Sarah Rodefeld is patient and steady as she aims her lens. ...

Cost: $4-$6

Where:
Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
1000 Chisholm Trail Parkway
Duncan, OK  73533
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Sponsor: Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
Telephone: 580.252.6692
Contact Name: Toni Hopper
Website »

More information

Forms Through Language: an exhibition by San Francisco Artist Gyöngy Laky. On view September 12 – October 31. Free and open to the public. Join us for Laky's Artist Reception on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Artspace at Untitled
1 NE 3rd st
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View map »


Telephone: 405-815-9995
Website »

More information

October 4-December 29, 2019 Misunderstood! features poems and artworks ranging from 1894 to 2017. As these works demonstrate, Native artists and writers have grappled with the same...

Cost: Free!

Where:
Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
Norman, OK  73019
View map »


Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
Website »

More information

This is one interactive haunted experience you WILL NOT want to miss! Will you be the one left behind or will your tactical skills get you to the other side?! Bring your friends and family to our...

Cost: $8

Where:
Nerfed Indoor Battle Arena
1 East Main St.
Shawnee, OK  74801
View map »


Sponsor: Nerfed Indoor Battle Arena
Telephone: 405-585-1321
Contact Name: Beau & Misty Dorrough
Website »

More information

Professional instruction in the art of improvisation. Though some experience with improvisation is beneficial, all skill levels are welcome, no prerequisite classes.  Though sketch comedy...

Cost: $175 for the full term

Where:
The Paramount Room
701 W. Sheridan Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Sponsor: The Space OKC
Telephone: 405-887-3327
Contact Name: AL Caveny
Website »

More information

Come pre-party with us on the patio this Saturday at the Sheraton Hotel. Enjoy our signature cocktail drinks and food bar menu. DJ Catherine Ouellette will be spinning your favorite tunes...

Cost: Free

Where:
Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1 North Broadway Ave
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View map »

More information

World-renowned pianist Jonathan Biss embarked on a 9-year project of recording the complete cycle of Beethoven’s piano sonatas. These works are among the most expressive and challenging piano...

Cost: Varying

Where:
McKnight Center Performance Hall
419 S. Monroe
Stillwater, OK  74074
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Over the course of seven concerts, pianist Jonathan Biss performs all of Beethoven's Piano Sonatas. Jonathan Biss continues to expand his reputation as a teacher, musical thinker, and one...

Cost: Varying

Where:
McKnight Center Performance Hall
419 S. Monroe
Stillwater, OK  74074
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Tired of the same old Halloween parties? Join Oklahoma River Cruises and let’s Haunt the River.  Enjoy the decorated boat, haunted tunes, light snacks and cash bar on board....

Cost: $35

Where:
Exchange Ave. Landing
1503 Exchange Ave.
Oklahoma City, OK  73108
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Sponsor: Oklahoma River Cruises
Telephone: 405-702-7755
Contact Name: Che Loessberg
Website »

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The immersive concert-style theater show chronicles the amazing journey shared by the folk-rock duo Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel. It tells the story from their humble beginnings as Tom &...

Cost: Varies

Where:
Hudiburg Chevrolet Center
6000 Prosper Blvd
Midwest City, OK  73110
View map »


Sponsor: OKC Broadway
Telephone: 405-594-8300
Website »

More information

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Cost: $30-$45

Where:
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Sponsor: INSURICA

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Whether it’s a pair of deer in the woods of Oklahoma, or the delicate points of a snowflake in Wisconsin, Maud photographer Sarah Rodefeld is patient and steady as she aims her lens. ...

Cost: $4-$6

Where:
Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
1000 Chisholm Trail Parkway
Duncan, OK  73533
View map »


Sponsor: Chisholm Trail Heritage Center
Telephone: 580.252.6692
Contact Name: Toni Hopper
Website »

More information

October 4-December 29, 2019 Misunderstood! features poems and artworks ranging from 1894 to 2017. As these works demonstrate, Native artists and writers have grappled with the same...

Cost: Free!

Where:
Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
555 Elm Ave.
Norman, OK  73019
View map »


Sponsor: Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art
Website »

More information

Forms Through Language: an exhibition by San Francisco Artist Gyöngy Laky. On view September 12 – October 31. Free and open to the public. Join us for Laky's Artist Reception on...

Cost: Free

Where:
Artspace at Untitled
1 NE 3rd st
Oklahoma City, OK  73104
View map »


Telephone: 405-815-9995
Website »

More information

America’s largest interactive comedy murder mystery dinner show is now playing at the Skirvin Hilton Hotel. At The Dinner Detective, you’ll tackle a challenging crime while you...

Cost: $59.95

Where:
The Skirvin Hilton
1 Park Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Sponsor: The Dinner Detective
Telephone: 866.496.0535
Website »

More information

We're poppin' champagne on the patio this Saturday and raffling off a bottle of Perrier-Jouet valued at $300! Come pre-party with us and DJ Catherine Ouellette from 6pm-10pm -...

Cost: Free

Where:
Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1, N Broadway Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »

More information

This is one interactive haunted experience you WILL NOT want to miss! Will you be the one left behind or will your tactical skills get you to the other side?! Bring your friends and family to our...

Cost: $8

Where:
Nerfed Indoor Battle Arena
1 East Main St.
Shawnee, OK  74801
View map »


Sponsor: Nerfed Indoor Battle Arena
Telephone: 405-585-1321
Contact Name: Beau & Misty Dorrough
Website »

More information

Professional instruction in the art of improvisation. Though some experience with improvisation is beneficial, all skill levels are welcome, no prerequisite classes.  Though sketch comedy...

Cost: $175 for the full term

Where:
The Paramount Room
701 W. Sheridan Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Sponsor: The Space OKC
Telephone: 405-887-3327
Contact Name: AL Caveny
Website »

More information

Come pre-party with us on the patio this Saturday at the Sheraton Hotel. Enjoy our signature cocktail drinks and food bar menu. DJ Catherine Ouellette will be spinning your favorite tunes...

Cost: Free

Where:
Sheraton Oklahoma City Downtown Hotel
1 North Broadway Ave
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »

More information

Tired of the same old Halloween parties? Join Oklahoma River Cruises and let’s Haunt the River.  Enjoy the decorated boat, haunted tunes, light snacks and cash bar on board....

Cost: $35

Where:
Exchange Ave. Landing
1503 Exchange Ave.
Oklahoma City, OK  73108
View map »


Sponsor: Oklahoma River Cruises
Telephone: 405-702-7755
Contact Name: Che Loessberg
Website »

More information

From three-time Tony® winner and Hamilton choreographer, Andy Blankenbuehler, comes an inspiring new American musical that explodes with infectious music and high-octane, heart-stopping...

Cost: $30-$45

Where:
OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center
7777 South May Avenue
Oklahoma City, OK  73159
View map »


Sponsor: INSURICA

More information

The immersive concert-style theater show chronicles the amazing journey shared by the folk-rock duo Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel. It tells the story from their humble beginnings as Tom &...

Cost: Varies

Where:
Hudiburg Chevrolet Center
6000 Prosper Blvd
Midwest City, OK  73110
View map »


Sponsor: OKC Broadway
Telephone: 405-594-8300
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...
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