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Words of Gradu-Wisdom

Advice to heed if you remember nothing else



 



SOMEONE YOU KNOW is about to flip a tassel this month, and you’ll probably be scanning the card section for the right message to give the graduate. Save yourself some shopping time: The message the graduate (or anyone, come to think of it) wants to receive is simply, “Here’s some money.”
 

Commencement speakers also could take a tip from this jar. Year after year, everyone at any graduation across the country knows what the keynote speakers are going to say. They’ll 
open with a friendly, perhaps humorous, story or quote before touching on a personal account of how they, as life’s uninitiated, imagined their future would be. Then they’ll close with some kind of advice about following your dream.

For a million dollars, I couldn’t tell you who delivered the commencement speech at my high school graduation, what his educational credentials were or the subject of his speech.
 I do, however, vividly remember the urgency in his delivery of this advice: “If you remember nothing else I say to you tonight, remember this.”

That’s it. I was so mesmerized by the all-or-nothingness of his “remember this” message that I don’t remember anything that came before or after that line, which very well could have been the secret to happiness and fulfillment, the shortcut to success or the combination to his safe deposit box. I’ll never know.

Instead, I stumbled blindly into my postgraduate life – unarmed for the tribulations of young adulthood – blazing a trail less traveled, all because I missed the big road sign of life that old what’s-his-name, the keynote speaker, cautioned us to remember.

It’s probably too late for me. The rest of you should save yourselves: Worry less about following your dreams and more about the practical advice you’ll probably never hear at your graduation, but need to hear before you go.

Travel. Doesn’t matter where – just go as far and as often as you can.

Get the longest extended warranty available. You’ll need it, exponentially so, for items that have a lot of features. That means more to break.

Don’t tell people everything you know. Keep a little mystery.

Don’t buy crappy tires or you’ll be buying tires all the time. Get the best tires available (with the best replacement warranty) or you’ll spend more money replacing crappy tires than you would have spent on good ones to begin with. This is a hard and fast rule that applies to everything from boots to lipstick, too: get the good one first and be done with it.

Keep your face out of the sun or you’ll never be able to lie about your age.

Perennials to annuals: Work with a ratio of 3:1.

Take a lot of photos between now and age 27. Your metabolism has a maximum shelf life of 28 years. Enjoy it now. You’ll look like the rest of us soon enough.

Always know someone with 1) a pool; 2) a pickup truck; 3) a prescription pad.

Leggings aren’t pants. Tunics aren’t dresses. Stop trying to defeat this axiom of good judgment, for all of us.

Don’t stress about math. Math is hard for (almost) everyone and most people don’t care if you’re not good at it. On the other hand ...

You must learn to spell. You’re killing the souls of readers everywhere, especially when you leave your manifesto on every news story thread you find on the Internet. There’s still time to get a handle on this, so do it.

Make a bonnet for your DirectTV dish. If you insist on going this way, you should either live in an extremely arid climate (where you’ll be glad you’ve started that skincare regime) or you must protect the dish from the rain if you ever want to spend a rainy Sunday afternoon watching old movies.

Learn how to thread and use a sewing machine. You’ll need a good costume one day.

Check your oil or you’ll be sorry. And it will be after midnight, on a weekend, when it’s raining sideways.

Know at least one reliable person you can call to fetch you after midnight, on a weekend, when it’s raining sideways and you’ve burned up the engine of your oil-starved car.

Be kind in all instances. At the very least, strive to be kind in all instances. Nothing will enrich your life more. If you remember nothing else, remember that.

 

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Calendar

September 2018

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More than 20 speakers in a one-track session designed for the digital marketing professional, marketer, business owner or anyone interested in branding, PR, advertising, social media, SEO, search,...

Cost: $250

Where:
Tower Theatre
425 NW 23rd St
Oklahoma City, OK  73103
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Sponsor: BigWing
Telephone: 405.475.4185
Contact Name: Janelle Archer
Website »

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This year will mark the eighth time the John F. Kennedy Awards have been celebrated, honoring individuals making a significant contribution to Oklahoma, its communities and its people, while paying...

Cost: $300

Where:
Skirvin Hilton Hotel
1 Park Ave.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
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Sponsor: Santa Fe Family Life Center
Telephone: 405-840-1817
Contact Name: James Timberlake
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More than 20 speakers in a one-track session designed for the digital marketing professional, marketer, business owner or anyone interested in branding, PR, advertising, social media, SEO, search,...

Cost: $250

Where:
Tower Theatre
425 NW 23rd St
Oklahoma City, OK  73103
View map »


Sponsor: BigWing
Telephone: 405.475.4185
Contact Name: Janelle Archer
Website »

More information

Price Tower Art Gallery in Bartlesville will host Women Artists of the West's 48th annual juried art exhibition, featuring over 200 original art works, created by women in all mediums, subjects...

Cost: Free 2018-09-21,22,23

Where:
Price Tower Art Gallery
510 S. Dewey Ave.
Bartlesville, OK  74003
View map »


Sponsor: Price Tower Arts Center
Telephone: 918.336.4949
Contact Name: Angelina Bourgou
Website »

More information

Escape the ordinary, and learn about OKC from a different point of view. Relax in the climate controlled cabin on one of our 65’ cruisers, or enjoy the breeze on the viewing deck and listen...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

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A fabulous art auction to raise money to help support Oklahoma A+ Schools at UCO.

Cost: $100

Where:
CHK|Central Boathouse
732 Riversport Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73129
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Sponsor: Oklahoma A+ Schools at UCO
Telephone: 405.974.3791
Contact Name: Heather Bryant
Website »

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The evening Cocktail Cruise offers stunning views of the downtown skyline, the Boathouse District and Finish Line Tower, the Wheeler Ferris wheel and quite possibly an amazing Oklahoma sunset. Come...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

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Join supporters in communities across the nation for the St. Jude Walk/Run to End Childhood Cancer during Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. This family-friendly event raises funds to support the...

Cost: $10 for adults or children six and older

Where:
Stars and Stripes Park
3701 S. Lake Hefner Drive
Oklahoma City , OK  73116
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Telephone: 405.403.7762
Contact Name: Emily Drover
Website »

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Let’s end childhood cancer. Together! This September, supporters across the country will unite to participate in the St. Jude Walk/Run to End Childhood Cancer, an exciting, family-friendly...

Cost: $10 for Registration

Where:
Stars and Stripes Park
3701 S Lake Hefner Dr
Oklahoma City, OK  73116
View map »


Sponsor: ALSAC St. Jude Oklahoma City
Telephone: 405.403.7762
Contact Name: Emily Drover
Website »

More information

Price Tower Art Gallery in Bartlesville will host Women Artists of the West's 48th annual juried art exhibition, featuring over 200 original art works, created by women in all mediums, subjects...

Cost: Free 2018-09-21,22,23

Where:
Price Tower Art Gallery
510 S. Dewey Ave.
Bartlesville, OK  74003
View map »


Sponsor: Price Tower Arts Center
Telephone: 918.336.4949
Contact Name: Angelina Bourgou
Website »

More information

Escape the ordinary, and learn about OKC from a different point of view. Relax in the climate controlled cabin on one of our 65’ cruisers, or enjoy the breeze on the viewing deck and listen...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

More information

The evening Cocktail Cruise offers stunning views of the downtown skyline, the Boathouse District and Finish Line Tower, the Wheeler Ferris wheel and quite possibly an amazing Oklahoma sunset. Come...

Cost: $15 for Seniors and kids under 12, $20 Adults

Where:
Regatta Landing
701 S. Lincoln Blvd.
OKC, OK  73109
View map »


Telephone: 405.702.7755
Contact Name: Business Office
Website »

More information

Show More...
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