Now that we’ve had the first frost of the year – finally – it’s beginning to seem like slightly more of a possibility that we’ll actually experience some sweater weather this winter. (As opposed to sweat-ING weather, aha ha.) We mentioned in the November issue that The Weather Channel has decided to begin naming significant winter storms, and has announced a roster of names for the 2012-’13 season. The problem is that the list is made up primarily of gods and historical leaders, ranging from Athena to Zeus, and while mythological beings do seem like a solid idea, why would you name a destructive and potentially deadly phenomenon after the goddess of wisdom? If the name game catches on, try these sinister soubriquets on for size for future winters… of doom!
Aku
Briareus
Chernobog
Dagon
Erebus
Fek’lar
Garm
Hordak
IT
Jadis
Koschei
Lamia
Mictlantecuhtli (I did have to cheat and look that one up)
Ner’Zhul
Orochi
Pazuzu
Questing Beast
Robot Devil
Shrike
Tiamat
Ungoliant
Voldemort
Wendigo
Xing Tian (that one too)
Yuki-onna
Zuul
Seriously, instead of sighing "I sure hope this storm that we're currently in ends soon," wouldn't you rather shake a gloved fist at the uncaring sky and bellow "Damn you, Erebus! Release us from your icy grip!"?
Well, wouldn't you?
STEVE GILL is unusually tall, has a B.A. in Letters and a minor in Classics from OU, drinks a great deal of coffee and openly delights in writing, editing and catching the occasional typo for Slice – especially since his dream career (millionaire layabout in a P.G. Wodehouse novel) is notoriously difficult to break into. He's probably trying to think of a joke about pirates right now.
